OwenParachute Owen Pearn - Counselling worldwide, Skype/phone/email
Secret Survey - All about you
Why I do this - About me
'Is this guy any good?' - Testimonials
7 ways to say hello - How to contact me
Big old page of resources - Articles

 

Owen Pearn
         

IN A HURRY? Get all the resources from this website gradually emailed to you over the next few weeks:

 
 
 
 
 

Your life.
Unfucked fast.
Stay home.

 

Ghosts freed.

Dreams serviced.

Psychological yoga.

Mental martial arts.

Power tools for the soul.

Time machines installed.

Emotional heart surgery.

Painful memories erased.

Spellbooks for the psyche.

Synaptic software upgrades.

Self-directed neuroplasticity.

Personal training for the mind.

Conditioned reactions unconditioned.

Dangerous things turned into safe things.

Unwanted emotional responses turned off.

The best thing you never knew you always wanted.

Want your life back? Say hello: 7 ways to say hello

 

         

Book a free 30-minute phone consult about anything on this site (no obligation):

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

IS THIS YOU?

DO YOU want to get rid of bad feelings, bad memories, bad thoughts or bad behaviour?

  • Did something happen in your past, or is happening in your life now, that you just can't talk about and you need help without talking about it?  
  • Are you very, very stuck? And very certain that if things don't start changing, very bad things will happen?  
  • Are you going through Hell?  
  • Are you an emotional mess? Are you emotionally bleeding? Are you in severe emotional pain some of the time? Most of the time? All of the time?  
  • Is there a lot at stake? Do you HAVE to get better?  

ARE YOU keeping a secret that is ruining your life?

  • Have you given up all hope of having a better past?  
  • Are you constantly haunted by terrible memories from your past?  
  • Are you suffering from a recurring memory that is very traumatic and disturbing and you want to brainwash the memory away or twist it to make it more palatable?  
  • Do you want to heal a wound that doesn't bleed? Do you want to resolve past conflicts and emotions? Is there a whole in you somewhere, if only you could find it?  
  • Do you want to stop living with the choices you didn't know you made when you were 14?  
  • Do you want to emotionally rewrite your childhood script so it can have a different ending?  
  • Do you want to erase a memory or forget your past? Is there something about your past you want to change? Do you want to break free from your past?  

ARE YOU unsure what the trouble was that started all of this?

  • Did you turn your feelings off a long time ago to keep yourself safe and now stuff is happening and the feels are back and you would really rather they didn't hurt?  
  • Are sections of your past giant blanks or voids and you want to know why? Are you getting disturbing memories back and you want to know if they're real or not?  
  • Did you have a physically-violent, emotionally-violent or sexually-violent childhood and it's affecting your life now in ways you wish it didn't?  
  • Are you wondering if it's possible to stop feeling socially broken or irreversibly damaged because you're haunted by past rapes, sexual exhibitions, sexual humiliations, sexual interferences, sexual assaults, sexual coercions or sexual violence?  

HAVE YOU had enough of being a hot mess?

  • Would it be nice to be able to calm down?  
  • Would grounded madness be a big improvement?  
  • Are you cleverly disguised as a responsible adult?  
  • Do you experience extreme inner agitation and tension?  
  • Do you act normal on the outside but you're the walking wounded on the inside and you want to start changing things?  
  • Do you have lots of complaints and you wished it wasn't so difficult to articulate exactly what's wrong? Do you have so much to say and you just can't get the words out?  
  • Do you keep doing something over and over again and it's out of control and you want to stop and you can't stop because there's something stopping you stopping?  
  • Can you become enraged in the time between two heartbeats? Are you hurting another living thing with your voice or your actions and you want to stop?  
  • Is the list of places you can go or people you can be with slowly but surely shrinking?  
  • Can you be overwhelmed by panic in the most ordinary of circumstances and you want to change it? Does getting into a car, bus, train or plane freak you out and it's time it didn't? Does leaving the house or going shopping freak you out and it's time it didn't? Do you have to pace? Do the second and third and fourth thoughts rush in and tumble over each other before the first one has a chance to finish? Do you get highly anxious or agitated in certain circumstances and you have to escape? Wondering why you can't be at peace like everyone else?  

DO YOU wake up to a rainbow of failure?

  • Do you want to feel expensive again?  
  • Do you want to make it Christmas in the trailer park?  
  • Is your life in the bargain basement and you want to start heading upstairs? Do you hate who you've become and what you do and it's time for a change? Are you secretly ashamed of what's going on inside you? Do you starve yourself or stuff yourself (or both) and you want to change it? Is all you want for Christmas a fast metabolism and a thigh gap? Do you rip yourself apart on the inside and cut yourself on the outside and you want to stop?  

DO YOU have to be drunk or drugged all the time?

  • Is rehab for quitters?  
  • Are withdrawals God's way of saying "You're still my bitch"?  
  • Do you wish it was possible to just inhabit your own brain and not have to silence it with cloudiness? Want to sleep sober but the carnival of characters in your head won't let you? Have you ridden a tidal wave of alcohol on a surfboard made of "I don't care"?  

ARE YOU terrified to go to sleep?

  • Have you had many lost nights that you've buried deep, deep away?  
  • Are there lots of black things trapped in the dark behind your eyes?  
  • Are you terrified to wake up? Is waking up in a death sweat an ordinary bad night for you?  
  • Did you go away to war and you saw some bad shit and you did some bad shit and now you're back and a new war is raging inside you and you need to find some peace somehow? Are the flashbacks and nightmares and panic getting to the point where you can't take it any more? Is the twitching and shouting in your sleep freaking out your partner?  

ARE YOU obsessed with a former partner and you want to let go?

  • Have relationships been a disaster area for you and you want to change it for next time?  
  • Does your partner have a problem and you have a problem with your partner's problem?  
  • Are you trapped in a dying relationship? Don't know whether to stay or leave? Want out but don't know how? Lots of issues that are hurting the relationship? Just about to separate or divorce?  
  • Do you refuse to believe love is for the young?  
  • Is intimacy something you want and fear, and you want the fear to get smaller?  

ARE YOU living to die?

  • Do you have a black heart of coal?  
  • Is life a dream that keeps you from sleeping?  
  • Have things got worse and worse over a long period of time and you're scared you're eventually going to kill yourself?  
  • Do you want to take an axe to the next person who says "cheer up", "smile", "endure", "just tough it up", "try to be happy", "take it one day at a time", "take small steps", "you should be over it by now"?  
  • Do you wish 'pain' was an accurate description of what's going on inside you, rather than 'ultrapain'? Is your pain not able to be measured? Are you wondering what's worse, being in so much pain that: 1) you're scared you might die, or 2) you're scared you might not?  
  • Are you not quite dead but pretty fucking numb? Is it difficult to know whether you're alive and dreaming, or dead and remembering? In a very dark place at the bottom of your hole and you just want to stay there until nothing matters? At your worst moment - mentally, physically and emotionally? Finding it hard to fight for life and you wish it was easier? Are you doing EVERYTHING you can not to die? Do you feel as if there's no way out, no hope and no chance of an end to your suffering? Are you spending all your time planning your suicide? Are you at the point where it's change or die? Do you have even a teensy-weensy hope that someone, somewhere could show you how to save your life? Would you be surprised to learn that you can turn weapons of self-destruction into weapons of self?  

IS YOUR IQ in freefall?

  • Sick of the advertising running in your head?  
  • Do you just want your mind to stop going wild piggy on you?  
  • Are you highly-intelligent, highly-educated and highly-miserable and two out of three ain't bad? Are you a nerd or a geek and maybe one day you'll be a nerdfighter but right now you want to reformat your brain because there are ghosts in the machine that have to go?  
  • Are you a highly-paid executive and you're living a lie and you want to change things fast before people start finding out?  

ARE THERE some things pills can't fix?

  • Are all the pills fucking with your brain?  
  • Sick of everyone telling you what you already know?  
  • Do you wish there was a pill marketed as "fast emotional pain relief"?  
  • Have you already changed a lot and been successful and now you've hit a wall?  
  • Are you going to bring the fire of a thousand suns to burn the next person who suggests another fucking self-help book?  
  • Have you been diagnosed with a mental disorder or mental illness (or other fantasy) and taken a lot of pills and done a ton of therapy and you're as miserable as ever and you're sick of it?  

HAVE YOU been buttfucked by fortune once too often?

  • Wondering why bad things keep happening to you?  
  • Does the world seem uncanny or sinister?  
  • Have you realised something about yourself or the world that explains a feeling of pervasive dread? Are you bothered by people looking at you, talking about you or judging you? Do you hear voices that other people don't hear and they bother you? Do you see things that other people don't see and what you see bothers you?  

DO YOU just want to live a little?

  • Trying to decide what despair smells like?  
  • Think you picked the wrong time to be a human being? Do you feel emotionally doomed?  
  • Has the Rapture been and gone and you were left behind?  
  • Did someone crush your soul and put out the light in your dark world?  
  • Are you just another soul with feelings but there's nobody there to feel the pain?  
  • Do you wish you could have an out-of-body experience just so you could talk to yourself about what you're doing with your life?  
  • Do you want to experiment with giving up on someone else's dream for you?  
  • Do you schlep around the house everyday in sweatpants and disappointment and it's time the Fun Bus started stopping outside?  
  • Would you love to get to the place where you can't be bothered to be anyone other than yourself?  
  • Are your parents driving you crazy and you've started looking for nursing homes with the highest rates of elder abuse?  
  • Have you been crying every day for 20 years and you don't want to do it for the next 20?  
  • Were you in a bad accident and you want to stop replaying it?  
  • Did someone check out on you years ago and it carved a giant hole in your life and they're there right now in the lines on your face, filling your house up with their "gone" and you wish it still didn't feel like yesterday?  
  • Have you put your happiness on hold for way too long and now it's time for "Go ahead, Caller"?  

ARE YOU at a critical crossroads in your life?

  • Have you made a decision to reduce stress in your life?  
  • Have you, perhaps surprisingly, reached a point in your life where it seems you need to seek out some sort of "helping professional"?  
  • Going through a very difficult time in your life's circumstances? Has a lot of life happened to you recently and things are spiralling out of control? Does it feel like you're stuck on the fast train to Crazyville and you want to get off? Really nervous about a big life-changing event?  
  • Need help re-discovering yourself? Need help making peace with your past? Need a new way to look at problems in your life? Need to step beyond your normal thought patterns and don't know how? Want to break through some bad patterns into a better understanding of yourself and those around you? Want to know why you think, remember, feel and act the way you do?  
  • Unsure where to turn next? No clue what to do? Don't know anymore how to get back to where you once have been? Does absolutely no one around you understand what you're going through? Rarely talk to anyone about what's going on inside you? Have nobody to turn to for advice, or no one safe to turn to? Considering getting some extra guidance and support? Searching for a voice of reason and empathy? Need a good laugh?  

Yes? ...

if you want help packing your parachute

Dear: Friend-I-haven't-met-yet
From: Owen Pearn
Subject: Your future

I know how tough this stuff can be.

I can help.

You get to stay home. We'll work via Skype or over the phone. It doesn't matter where you are in the world.

Imagine you're on two journeys...

... one of them ends here

... and one of them starts here:

Your first step: Secret Survey (All About You)


15 REASONS WHY ONLINE COUNSELLING ROCKS

You get to stay at home in private.

You don't have to get dressed up.

You're in control of your surroundings.

No one knows you're talking to a counsellor or therapist.

No one sees you going into a counsellor's or therapist's office.

You don't bump into anyone else accidentally.

No driving, no parking, no travelling long distances.

You don't lose half a day getting anywhere and back.

Easy to organise outside of normal hours (nights, weekends, holidays).

Great for when you don't want to go anywhere.

Perfect for when you can't go anywhere.

You can talk to the best instead of the nearest.

You can feel more relaxed because you know that, afterwards, you don't have to get yourself away from somewhere unfamiliar.

You can feel more comfortable expressing yourself because it feels kind of anonymous.

Neither of us has to put on shoes.


HOW TO CONTACT ME FAST

7 ways to say hello - How to contact me


WHAT OTHERS SAY

The long version is on my testimonials page. The short version is:

  • "I have gotten release working with Owen that I have not experienced with anyone else" (USA)  
  • "Thank you Owen for getting to the heart of the matter so quickly" (Canada)  
  • "If you are in any kind of distress, working with Owen is the greatest thing you can do for yourself" (Canada)  
  • "You never let me get so far" (Scandinavia)  
  • "Owen ... has been very suppotive of my choice of technique. He's one cool dude." (USA)  
  • "Amazing, thank you so much." (Spain)  
  • "very productive chat with Owen, who gave me practical and fresh insight." (UK)  
  • "Got a very intresting session from Owen, and learned sooo much about myself, about kinestethic signatures." (Scandinavia)  
  • "Nah, shouldn't be Owen Parachute... should be Owen FANTASTIC!!!!" (Australia)  
  • "you're brilliant" (anon)  
  • "ppl can be important" (anon)  
  • "you very likely saved my soul" (anon)  
  • "a big curtain has lifted" (anon)  
  • "Thank GOD!! so how... how do I change this!!" (anon)  
  • "Ive done it to all the stuff and its worked" (anon)  

ABOUT YOU AND ME AND TIME AND MONEY

I work very differently from most other "helping professionals".

It's okay to lie to me.

It's impossible to offend me. Although, every time you argue with me, somewhere a fairy dies. (Fairy mortality update: many fairies have died).

It IS possible to scare me but it's pretty difficult. You're welcome to try.

You can tell me anything but you don't HAVE to tell me anything (you can keep it all private if you want). I can teach you how to change stuff without having to know any of the details.

I often start where others finish.

I like to go REALLY fast.

If you want, I'll make lots of space, very quickly. This often creates a vacuum. Which often attracts lots of new stuff.

I cannot heal you or fix you because you're not broken and I'm not a healer.

If you're not interested in woo and you're not interested in pharma and you're not interested in medicalising ordinary human experience, I am interested in you.

I'm quite happy to chat at no cost to you for half-an-hour or so, and then you can decide if you want to take things further. Your first step is to do your Secret Survey (All About You).

You have to be at least 18.

I work completely outside the medical system. I do not report to any insurance company or government agency (either in your country or mine).

The fee covers three components in each contact-period:

1) A Skype or phone session where we chat for 90 minutes, sometimes a little longer.

2) In the couple of days after each session, I will spend a few hours summarising my notes of the session plus any other thoughts I've had about you plus homework links to webpages, video clips, books and other references that I think apply to your personal situation and I will email you all that (no separate charge for this).

3) Between sessions, any time you want, as many times as you want, email me with questions and updates (eg. "NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"). I WANT you to do this! The more questions the better, because it means we can go fast. I will reply by email as helpfully as I can, as soon as I can (no separate charge for this). If it's complicated, it sometimes has to wait until the next time we chat.

Scheduling: How often we chat is up to you. After we've chatted a bit, I'll have a much clearer idea of what might best suit you.

I work nights, weekends and holidays because I chat with folks all over the world and the timezone differences are often crazy. Sometimes it's way outside normal hours where you are and just another day at the office for me, and vice versa.

Fees:

1 contact-period: 350 AUD
6 contact-periods: 1495 AUD




GET TO KNOW ME ON YOUTUBE

You can watch all my videos on my page of videos. Here are three:

 

14 Relationship Tips You've Never Heard Before (29 mins)

 

Happiness. Getting unstuck. Relationship finality. Attraction. How to have a fabulous relationship. Intimacy, intimidation and threat. Arguments and right and wrong. What to do to improve your relationship. Secrets and betrayals. How to think about couples counselling. Read transcript

 

6 Common FasterEFT Mistakes And How To Avoid Them (39 mins)

 

We spend 99% of our time in trances so we can successfully operate in the world. The more strongly we believe a painful trance, the more it hurts. A trance is a "crossing over". Are you crossing over everywhere, except where you need to go? Are you constantly crossed over to bad trances? Are you not crossing back soon enough? Are you not crossing over at all? Are you crossing back, but not crossing over? Are you crossing over and back once, and you think you're finished? Part of the price of change is giving up some certainty about some of what you believe to be true. Read transcript

 

What happens when we're stuck - Tyrone's restaurant problem (7 mins)

 

Our problem is blindingly obvious to everyone around us, except us. We genuinely want to make things better but it's not safe to change anything. We naturally do "harder, better, faster, stronger" which just gives us more practice at doing our problem. Sometimes when we're pushing really hard "here", we need to push "over here" to move something "here". The thing that we need to do is sometimes the thing that we don't want to do. Read transcript

 

My YouTube channel:


I NEVER DREAMED I'D BE A COUNSELLOR

The short version is: I used to find life really difficult and now I don't.

I've been to Hell and the view wasn't that great and all I brought back was a lousy teeshirt and transcendent emotional freedom. The whole gory story is here.


PRIVACY AND ANONYMITY

Access to this website is logged by IP Address. I cannot determine your street address or name.


IT DOESN'T MATTER ...

... who you are, or where you are, or how old you are, or what you saw, or what you thought you saw, or what you heard, or what you said, or what you didn't say, or what you did, or what you didn't do, or what was done to you, or what wasn't done for you, or what was taken from you, or what was forced upon you, or what you lost, or what you never had, or what you'll never have, or what you're looking for: 

I've spent some time thinking about you today 

"Why is my partner making my life miserable?" ~ "I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me." ~ "Why does it feel so good to feel so bad?" ~ "I just want to stop freaking out in traffic." ~ "I'm 50 years old and I can't believe my life is crap." ~ "I can feel feelings now and they hurt." ~ "I've tried everything and I'm desperate." ~ "I have an anxiety disorder that makes it hard to find a job that fits my high IQ. I fear that my fiancee will leave me for this, and I'll kill myself from depression." ~ "My friend ended his life. Since then, I feel like I won't ever be happy again. Sometimes, I think I should do the same as he did. I'm tired to be sad and crying because of his death." ~ "I feel like my marriage is dead from inside. I have no way of getting out other than killing myself. I can not even do that as I don't want to leave my children." ~ "I find myself constantly running my tongue in a circle over the spot on the roof of my mouth where I plan to put the barrel." ~ "I've never told anyone this before." ~ "I want to take this razor and sign your name across my wrists." ~ "I gave it to them, so they couldn't take it from me." ~ "I just want the nightmares to stop." ~ "My father raped me hundreds of times." ~ "I want to avoid PTSD memories during the day." ~ "I'm a grown woman and I'm still cutting." ~ "Did I lock the car? Did I lock the car? Did I lock the car? Is it clean enough? Is it clean enough? Is it clean enough?" ~ "It's been lovely but I have to scream now."

 


 

OwenParachute Owen Pearn - Counselling worldwide, Skype/phone/email
Secret Survey - All about you
Why I do this - About me
'Is this guy any good?' - Testimonials
7 ways to say hello - How to contact me
Big old page of resources - Articles