owen pearn

Say Hello And We’ll Video-chat A Bit, No Strings Attached

Top photo by Harli Marten


I know how tough this stuff can be.

Even though I don’t know you, I believe in you.

You’re doing the best you know how to do right now. If you don’t know what to do next, you’ve just forgotten. You brought yourself to this moment to remember something from your future.

Bad decisions make good stories.

It’s better to be from a broken home than in one.

It’s easier to recover from a problem than from a label.

There is no abnormal state of mind. There’s just mind.

No one is keeping count of how often you make a “mistake”. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Don’t look back, you’re not going that way. Your future will soon become your past. Now and then during your pursuit of happiness, you could have a rest and just be happy for a while before you start again.

The world starts where your comfort zone ends. We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

No one is promised tomorrow. Enjoy where you are, and who you are, right now. Notice what’s around you, and who is around you and understand that as soon as you blink, that moment’s gone forever.

Psychological distress / mental distress / emotional distress results from a mismatch between who you are and who you want to be. The bigger the mismatch, the more energy you will use to maintain it and the more the distress.

The difference between what you know and what you do is what you unconsciously believe.

There’s always an end. It’s just not labelled “The End”.

Changing your present state to something more comfortable is like a little present for future-you. 

Another person cannot live their life for you. You cannot live someone else’s life for them.

If you want to be wanted, your task is to make it safe for someone to want you. If you want to be loved, your task is to make it safe for someone to love you.

When you’re in relationship with someone, you’re also in relationship with all the people in their past. This is why things can get a little crowded sometimes.

You cannot change your partner. You can only change your own behaviour so that they react to you in new ways. If you cannot change your own behaviour enough to get the results you want, this is your problem, not theirs. There’s no failure, only feedback. 

You cannot help anybody with your own unhappiness.


One of the kindest things you can do for the people you love is to develop more emotional autonomy. Managing your own emotions, anxieties, and feelings of self-worth gives other people back their lives.

David Schnarch


Your neurons do not know who you are. Nor do they care.

All change requires taking a risk. ‘Risk’ means making yourself vulnerable and experimenting with new behaviour with no guarantee of what will happen. We don’t change who we ARE. We change what we DO on the inside: how we think, feel, believe and remember. And we change what we do on the outside: what we do, where we do it, how we do it, who we do it with.


Every choice you make influences your identity, and not the other way around; the sooner you accept this, the sooner you can become the person you want to be. You get to pick who you are. Go pick.

thelastpsychiatrist


A lump of coal that does well under pressure is called a diamond. “I choose to begin …”

  • “to stand in my authority”
  • “to live through my limits”
  • “to reclaim my power”
  • “to be reunited with my bright, shiny core”

If you can lose it, it was never yours. Your health, your property, your children, your friends, bits of your body, sanctity of your body, your life, your husband / wife / boyfriend / girlfriend, your marriage, your business, your career, your pet, your job, your money, your house, your family - these things are not yours and never were. You are merely the witness, the custodian, the steward: ‘stewardship - a process of protection of things that are not yours’. What’s yours is what can never be taken from you. So you’ve got nothing to lose.

Your life is a mirror image of your beliefs. You are the sum total of your choices and all your choices have brought you to this moment. In the still gap between each two of your heartbeats, moments are born, live a long and fruitful life, and die. Each new moment offers new choices.

It’s not our memories that bother us, it’s the memories of the feelings that bother us.

To free yourself from the slavery of your past and gain the option of acting and feeling differently for given triggers, you must unlearn the learned connections between your emotionally painful memories and your body’s kinaesthetic responses. (I can teach you many different ways to do this.)

During the process of forgiving yourself for everything that has happened to you, you can retire existing systems of thought and feeling, and lovingly thank them for their long and faithful service.


May the bridges I burn light the way.

Marko Rakar


Get some fight.

Blessings, and I hope you have a good week.


Photo by Daniel Monteiro

Photo by Daniel Monteiro

Turtle: I’ve just been attacked by three snails!
Sheriff: What happened?
Turtle: I don’t know. It all happened so fast.


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